About the Club

The past 20 years

Back in the early 1990's the police decided to clamp down on all the strip pubs in London, they told the landlords follow the new rules, or risk losing your licence. The strippers were told there was to be no more coming off stage and messing around with the customers, no using baby lotion on their bodies as part of their act, or rubbing ice cubes on themselves, no vibrators, dildos or toys could be used. Customers couldn’t even come close to the front stage without a landlord having a fit. It all got a bit boring for us regulars.

This is when I had the idea of starting a members club, where we could have all the same fun that we were used to, before all the new rules. I could book all my favourite girls and hopefully have lots of fun, it all sounded like a great idea. The big selling point was keeping it exclusive, not allowing in any idiots or trouble makers from the local pubs.The area was a bit rough back then, don’t forget, this is before there were lap dancing clubs and bouncers on every door, or CCTV everywhere. We used the Joiner's function room once a week to get started. Later on I found out, the landlord had built the function room on to his pub without planning permission, he got into trouble over this, he decided to sell up, so we had to move on.

The joiners Arms Hackney Rd

The club has used many locations over the years, my first venue was the joiners Arms, in Hackney road E1. I started doing Gentlemen’s Evenings on a regular monthly basis, something no one had done before in the Shoreditch area, It was pretty stressful, trying to sell tickets around the strip pubs in Shoreditch and not get caught by the landlords, then hope the girls I booked would turn up and be on time. This is where I used some great stag girls of the time like, Black Theresa, from the Rainbow entertainment agency, Manchester Gillian, a porn star and model, sexy Italian Luna, a stripper and part time model (she appeared in Mayfair) our raunchiest black entertainer was Brandy, she was well known on the Rainbow circuit of strip pubs, I got her and Theresa to help promote the stag evenings at the pubs they worked at during the day. After a while, I decided I wanted to do weekly events, running stag evenings was too stressful and expensive, so I had to think of something new.

The Flying Scud Hackney Rd

I tried using a small pub called the Flying Scud in Hackney road, it was just across the road from the Joners Arms, a strange shaped pub with a very dodgy landlord. It was a short lived venue.I started to book the girls through the Rainbow entertainment agency and paid them a fee, at least the girls would show up, although not always on time, not all of them were ready to do the sort of hands on show we wanted. One of my members was very sympathetic to a Brazilian dancer that the Rainbow had sent us one evening, they hadn't told her about the nature of our shows, she wasn't happy and spoilt our night with her attitude. I later found out from him that she had been caught smoking a spliff in Hyde park by a police officer, they checked her immigration status and found she was an overstayer, they deported her straight away. He did his whight knight bit, flew out to Brazil too see her and took her thing she left behind in the UK, they ended up marrying and having a son.

The Crosby Head Old St

We moved from there to The Crosby Head in Old Street, where we ran just one evening a week, I did it on Monday night because all the strip pubs in the area were closed on a Monday evening, this soon changed when other pub landlords in the area found out how busy we were, the night picked up quickly. This is where the infamous Housewife Sue found us, she was a bored swinger . I put an advert in a London weekly paper for our once a month a gentlemen's evening, she rang me up and asked if she could come along and bring her husband, I was curious so I said yes, the rest is history, far too naughty to go into here, let's just say that she loved the attention from a dozen horny guys all at once. At first the other strippers didn't mind, she didn't do jug collections so no money was involved, that made her even more popular, we had never experienced anything like Sue before. She would just give a nod to the guys that she wanted some attention and in seconds, she would be surrounded by ten guys groping her.

The Spiral Staircase Shoreditch

We moved our club evenings again, this time to the Spiral Staircase in Shoreditch high st, the ground floor was a restaurant and bar, it had a great basement function room. The landlord and owner was a gay guy called Graham, a fair guy to do business with (made a change from some of the dodgy landlords i had dealings with) this is the venue where I first started to use a black DJ called Roland. One of dancers she felt sorry for him and persuaded me to use him, he had weird eyes, one that looked ahead the other out of the window , it turned out he was such a useless DJ that it was funny. He used to spend most of his day time hanging round the Queen Ann strip pub in Vauxhall, doing a bit of everything, but mainly poncing fags or money off the customers, any cash he got would go straight into the pub's slot machines. I remember holding a stag party one Christmas; we filled the Spiral with helium balloons, laid on food, held a raffle, over fifty members turned up. We spent the evening watching the show and getting pissed, some of us were inhaling the helium from the balloons, then trying to talk on the microphone, sounding like a pissed Donald Duck, it was great fun, Roland tried, but he never manage to inhale? I remember one stripper that night, her nick name was blue Suzann (a curvy Portuguese girl) she nearly came her pants when she counted her jug money collection, she had made £100 in £1 coins, for just for one dance, that was a lot seventeen years ago. It all came to an end when Roland turned up one evening clutching a letter for us, it had been handed to him by Tom, the landlord at Ye Old Axe, a strip pub in Hackney rd (a place Roland used to visit on his rounds) it was a copy of a letter sent to the local licensing officer, complaining that it was unhygienic to allow strip evenings to be held in the restaurant, our landlord not wanting any fuss or questions over his licence, pulled the plug on our evenings. The club was homeless again.

The Owl and Pussy Cat Shoreditch

Then on to the Owl and Pussy Cat's upstairs function room, we had a great landlord there, I think his name was Chris Moon. This is the venue where our second set of swingers found us and joined in the fun on a regular basis. Tanya and her husband started coming along to the stag evening, she was a really pretty petite brunet that looked innocent, like butter wouldn't melt, but oh lord, everything else did. The place got really busy; some nights there would be guys cueing on the stairs to get into the function for our stag nights, all clutching their entry fee, we even had to turn people away because we were too full. The club gained a reputation for really blue stag shows, this was due mainly to the swingers, Tanya and Sue trying to out do each other, with their own little side shows.

The Cellar bar London Bridge

Our most famous venue, the Cellar Bar, in London Bridge (A.K.A. the green door) I think we were there for about two and a half years, three evenings a week. I rented the whole place, it was a big venue, I got a good deal on the rent, though I never realised it at the time. I decided to attended classes, in bar and cellar management so I could run the place properly, I passed NVQ levels 1,2 & 3, you should have seen my course assessor when he visited the place, his eyes nearly popped out, needless to say I passed my level 3.

The stag evenings started to get so big, I couldn't use the normal bar area anymore, so I moved it to the lower level, a really big function room, deep in the basement, we had upward of sixty guys attending, it was not easy to keeping control of it all, with just my bouncer, black Mike my barmaid, Misi and sometimes Roland my DJ, but everyone was well behaved, relatively speaking, it was all good fun, Misi's sister, Lola, used to strip at the club too. This was the venue, that housewife sue, really got into her stride, outdoing even the bluest of our stag girls, just for fun. I had to ban her from arriving too early, or our normal strippers didn't get a look in when she arrived.

Back then we used to get a lot of guys come to the club from the City, especially from the London International Futures Exchange, most we OK, but we had a few really arrogant tossers, all the money they were making went to their heads, I had to "smack" a top manager from Barclays LIFE, for being a rude, arrogant tosser (also he was a non member) Some time later he came back to the club and said "I’ve got a Platinum Barclay Card" I want to bring guests here, whatever the bill comes too, I want you to add £300 on top for me and give me the cash; I told him, to get lost, I didn't like him, didn't want him or his clients in my club, what I didn't say was I couldn't take credit cards!

One of the women I hired for our stag evenings, turned out to have an unusual "hobby" she became notorious for corresponding with the Yorkshire Ripper, Peter Sutcliff, in Broad moor prison, then she wrote a book about it, her name was Swanne, real name Sandra Lester, we just knew her as the stripper, that liked to shove cucumbers up her pussy, not one, but two at a time! and to top that, she would look for the largest full can of beer we had, usually a Guinness, with 10% extra and would insert the whole thing into her pussy, then prance around the room with it stuck up there, she even made a video of her herself doing just that (available in all good sex shops) . After one of Swann's shows, my barmaid Misi, was clearing up, she obviously hadn't been paying attention to what had gone on, because she picked up the full can that Swan had used in her act, she noticed it was slippery and wet, when I told her why, she freaked out and rushed off to the bathroom, we all fell about laughing, after that Misi refused to clear up on nights Swann was there.

One day the landlord, Andre, came and told me he had done a deal with another club, he had rented out my Friday night to them, he said, I could have the bar takings he would keep everything else. The club was called Rubber Nipple, they needed big venue at short notice, for a once a month fetish party. On the night the place was packed out, I didn't get to see much of the action, just people walking around in weird outfits, with a few guys almost naked, I was busy going full tilt serving behind the bar with Misi. It was a great night,The next day we had a big problem, the people attending the evening had got changed at the club into their fetish gear, PVC, rubber, etc, bits hanging out everywhere,but lots of them didn't bother getting changed when they left, they just put their coats on over their gear. The local Police station was just round the corner, I think they freaked when they spotted lots of weirdoes walking down Borough High Street, towards the taxi rank, some of them, with their coats open! ,The end came for our venue on a valentine’s day, we got raided by the police (on the instructions of Southwark council) apparently Southwark don't allow stripping in their borough, they told the Police to find us and close us down, they only got in because we had no one on the door that night, I thought it would be a quiet evening because it was valentines, so I didn't hire anyone. Oh well, we had a good run, just wish I had taken some photos of all the madness.

Our West London Venues

At the same time i was running one night in east London, I started a west London night, the best venues were the Hop Poles in Hammersmith, we had moved there from the Swan pub just round the corner, when we had been move on by the local CID, they didn't like us using "their" pub. From the hop Poles we used Dicey Reillys in Acton, we used a big upstairs function room, i remember it was always cold we were there about six months when the dodgy Aussie landlord ran off with two months takings, the pub was closed down by the owners.Then on to west London Studios an amatuer photographic club,it was in a railway arch in Hammersmith, first used by a guy called Kent Bolton, to run some spanking parties, then west London Ian bumped him out and took over his evening to run his own parties. Ian was an ex dj of mine, who copied my idea and grew too big for his boots, he was not happy about me getting a night down at the studio this lasted only a few months I discovers the club had decided not to renew their lease on the arch, the good news for me was the arch next door was also going to be used a photographic studio and they were keen to get the club to move in and help pay their rent, we had a fun year or two and found many new girls, it the first time we ever had Indian girls stripping at the club.

Peoples Social club Holloway Rd

The lease holders of the arch had a rent dispute with TFL (the landlords) while he was away on holiday, they moved in, changed the locks and emptied his studio, taking all my stuff too, I had a lot of work to do to get them to return my property, including my twin deck CD player and speakers worth about £400.Eventually I found the peoples social club on Holloway rd, a basement night club, we used this venue for about four years, but in the end Hass the owner kept raising the rent on me, in the end I told him to stuff it, found another venue and moved on. I have loads of great photos from the mad stag nights we did at that club over those four years! too naughty to publish on this site.

Suzy's Flat Shoreditch

Suzy used to dance at my club nights, but decided to go off and run her own nights, she was vey successful, the girls (all Brazilian) were told to recruit guys from the clubs they already worked at, this made them some enemies from the mainstream clubs and this caused many a venue change for her, but I was able to rent a Sunday afternoon for my parties,in a flat she found in Shoreditch.We had some very sexy girls dance for us there, like Ice, Monique, Ruby, Christina, Honey, and Tina (who was also very popular at our Holloway rd venue) Suzy made the big mistake of renting her flat out to too may people and running it seven days a week, eventually the police raided, didn't find anything but the landlord was told to shut us down, he did this without giving any notice and did an illegal evection, for which he could have gone to jail, he even stole my furniture, but when it went to court he got away with it, but had to return all the property he had nicked. We were homeless again.

What's your Flavour Harlesden

Not an easy venue to get to for some of my members and took a while to take off, we used this venue twice over the years, I enjoyed working with Rebecca the landlady, again we recruited lots of new girls to come and dance for us and had some serious fun. This is where a lot of girls did their first ever strip, like Suga2, Sunshine, Martini and Brazilian Kelly. the landlady there was always in financial trouble, it turned out she was being defrauded by the guy that sub let the place to her, she was paying the electric for all the flats and bedsits above the club, but the meters were being emptied by her landlord, he kept the money and stuck her with all the bills and over charged her on the rent, eventually it closed for the second and final time, this time due to new accessibility laws (wheel chair access) it was going to cost a fortune to do the modifications demanded by the local council and it was all down to the landlady, who couldn't afford it.

N.B.

I found out from the local news papers that after remaining empty for a while, someone had the bright idea to use the basement to grow drugs, they got found out and busted, not surprising as there was a cct camera just up the street from the club.

my business copyright 2000 no animals were harmed in the making

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